perms

Why isn't it simple? Why can't I just write a straight sheaf of addresses off the stack, and bung the same things into each envelope? Indeed, why do I have to write the addresses by hand - surely any competent organisation would have them on the computer?

Um. I do have them on the computer.
But.

Well. There are contributors. They get first crack of the whip. With a light heart, I start sending mags out to the valiant souls who make it happen. I am glad to, and very grateful to them. And to you, with your sparky poems, and to you and your lightsome reviews.

Then there are the contributors who are also subscribers (less than a handful) - and subscribers are our lifeblood - and they get an extra copy, which is a different postal rate. Then there is the contributor who is also a subscriber whose sub is up for renewal, who gets a reminder because I am hardnosed like that. Then there are the contributors who live abroad, and you have to queue up to get it weighed, and does the scrawled comps slip mean that it no longer counts as 'printed matter'?

And indeed, there are the contributors who are subscribers whose subs lapsed with the last issue, but whom (for obvious reasons) I don't want to let go, so I have a special letter to send to them.

And the impecunious contributors who are also subscribers who prefer not to have a second copy of the mag but to roll over their sub to the next issue. I don't like to think about what this tells me about how they value this particular issue.

And then there are the subscribers, the vast majority of course, who fit into none of those categories. Including those whose subs are due, and those whose subs have lapsed. And those in each category who live abroad.

There are 16 permutations...

And then there are the inserts. Do I send them willy nilly to everyone, including the subscriber who asked me to include them, and who probably has inserts up the ying-yang? And to those abroad? (Well, not if it tips it into a different price band.) Do I send Soundblast Performance Poetry flyers to Mrs Trellis of North Wales?

Is it even worth my time wondering about such things?